Now you're probably asking yourself, What makes me different then, from this noble sect of glorious mythical creatures? For starters, we can't get arrested. No prison nor earthly shackles can hold the mighty gods of fright in this realm! We are The Silent Tyrannical Rulers of your world, the Pestilence of Hope and Security, the Spawn of Spooky! Also the fact that we can appear and disappear from the fickle minds of humans means we aren't subject to income tax. This also means we don't qualify for healthcare and Social Security. Instead we get by on the royalties we make from movies and children's books. We have very good lawyers, who just happen to be distant cousins of ours.
I, however was not content to live the lifestyle of the lich and infamous. You see what I did there? Hehe. So instead of being a master of fright, I decided to become an artist, a thinker. This however did not go over well with my colleagues. I was shunned and ridiculed for my interest in arts that did not concern scaring small children. I could not give up my passion for literature, so instead I hid it by consuming the books I held so dear. At first it was painful to eat such great works, but soon I developed a strange ability to absorb words through my stomach linings.
The books I ate ran through my veins, every sentence, every plot line. Then I had a crazy idea. I would start a weblog and write about every book I eat. That way I can look back in a couple years and read about what books I enjoyed eating at the time without having to regurgitate them. Also I can share my thoughts with you humans on your ever-powerful internet, which my brethren hate with a passion. Mostly because a lot of them have claws unsuitable for typing and cyber-scaring simply hasn't been fully developed yet.
Thank you for listening to my story. I hope to tell you many more, you only need remember to return to this site. Bookmark me, burn my URL into your brain, whatever it takes. We'll explore the deepest recesses of the innermost cave, traverse on the threads of reality itself, and hopefully discover something fascinating about each of ourselves, man or monster.
Now, first up: Frankenstein by Mary Shelley! Starring a monster we all hold dear, upholding the time honored tradition of perverting rational human beings into pitchfork-wielding, torch-bearing denizens of the night. Aren't the true monsters within humans themselves? Well, if that was the case, a lot of us would be out of jobs.
